Hope Now.

When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I’ll be ok and
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

Hope.  What a powerful word.  With hope there is promise.  Without it…

Have you ever suffered from depression?  I have.  It’s a dark place.  It sucks you in and makes you feel abandoned and alone.  It suffocates and blinds.  Pretty soon you don’t even want to get out of bed… what’s the point?  The world is better off without you anyway…  As a matter of fact, maybe the world WOULD be better off without…  STOP.

First, you are NOT alone in more ways than one.  You are not the only person to feel this way… nor will you be the last.  Also, regardless of how separated you may feel, Jesus NEVER leaves you alone.  You are His.  You are Precious.

There seems to be an epidemic around here right now:  Suicide.  It’s not a topic we talk about very often.  In fact, I remember hearing about it growing up and being told that to talk about it would “glamorize” it.  I don’t pretend to be an expert on suicide.  I do think there needs to be more information and teaching about it though.

I’ve been so depressed that I’ve contemplated suicide.  I’ve gone so far as to plan it out and think in my mind what reactions would be.  Surprised?  I’m being honest.  It’s part of my testimony.  It doesn’t lessen who I am as a Christian.  Satan is a crafty adversary.  He knows my weaknesses.  He knows yours too.  In my case, I felt hopeless.  I didn’t feel I had anything to offer.  It didn’t last long… but it was long enough.  It was last February, just after the second major snow storm we had in VA.  I had just returned from our Birthday Cruise where we’d been listening to Christian artists all week.  I had been snowed in FL for an extra 3 days and should have been in great spirits by the time I made it back to VA.  Instead I was so weak and depressed that I couldn’t see straight.  To make matters worse, the Brocks went on a ski trip and I was stayed here alone for an entire weekend… Valentine’s Day weekend.  It was not good.  I called several friends and family members but nobody was available.  I was alone.  In the midst of my plans, God intervened.  I got ahold of Benji (my youngest brother).  He had no idea how badly I needed him and I don’t think I told him.  Actually, I don’t remember.  It’s all blurred.  What I do remember is light breaking through the darkness just a little and being reminded of the hope that we have in Christ Jesus.  I made myself get out of the house for the evening and the Brocks came home that night.  It was a very long weekend.

Have you had a loved one take their own life?  Have you had thoughts of doing so yourself?  Talk to someone.  Talk to me.  Just talk.  There is HOPE.  Life is worth living.  You are Precious.  You are His.  Hope now.  Hope.

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About udoa180

I'm from a large and loving family out of Oblong, IL. I'm a Christian and love the Lord with all my heart! I've been working as a nanny for 4 years after returning from 7 years in Ukraine. I love to do life "deeply". Shallow just doesn't cut it for me.
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